Recipe for a Mental Breakdown

Today I shall give you my own tried and true recipe for a mental breakdown. This recipe may be a little advanced for those who don't bite off more than they can chew, but soon you will find it easier and easier to chomp down on additional responsibilities with ease!

Ingredients:
3 minimum wage jobs preferably 30-40 hrs per week altogether, depending on your preferred brand
1 incompetent boss
5 hours of sleep a night or less
1 uncontrollable urge to shop for things you don't need
16+ college credits
A handful of budgets to be ignored
A dash of family obligations
A pinch of relationship time
If desired throw in a club/organization to help run
Add a sprinkle of side projects as a garnish

Directions:
To start off with toss one of the jobs into the mixing bowl of things to schedule, add in the college credits and family obligations and the bowl is already pretty full. Initially we start out with 8 hours of sleep a night but that will evaporate to 5 hours or less in the baking process. Add in another job and the budgets and the batter will start to give off a pleasant buzzing sound. Grab a pinch of relationship time and spread it throughout the mixture, add the desire to help run a club/organization and the bowl will be practically running over. At this point toss in the incompetent boss and the uncontrollable urge to shop for things you don't need, the batter will begin to sizzle, pop, and give off sparks. For the final crescendo add in the third job, this may cause the club/org to spill out onto the table, but don't worry, that's completely natural and the entire entity will disappear with time. Pop your almost finished mental breakdown into the oven on low heat and wait for a few weeks. Once your breakdown is fully formed add a garnish of side projects to finish it off, and voila! The perfect mental breakdown (patent pending.)

WARNING: While this recipe may be easy to put together the outcome is very harmful and should only be partaken in when necessary for extreme reasons. If you see anyone consuming this treat too frequently it is your obligation to warn them of the dangers, they will ignore you, but you will at least know that you tried to prevent the trauma to come.